The best way of doing this is..
1. Only ever run everquest2.exe until when doing so the servers refuse to let you in using that exe.
2. Don't bother with automatic extension loading...open innerspaces command bar (`) once in game and type ext isxeq2 to load isxeq2.
3. If number 1 fails , run eq2.exe to patch your game . load isxeq2 using the command line as in number 2 and it will patch if a new patch is available or if it fails to load you need to wait for a new one to be coded (try again another day).
4. Repeat number one and two till it fails to start again.